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Friday, September 30, 2011
"Will you surrender your life and your plans and your future and your hopes and your dreams and your
desires and your thoughts and your actions and your words – all to the Lordship of Christ? Or will you continue to deny His total call/claim upon your life?" - Caleb & Sol
Read those lyrics above. Really read them; let the words sink in. Today I was so convicted of the fact that to simply say, "God, I surrender my life to you" is easy, but to actually DO it is entirely different. I'm pretty sure that I'm not the only one that feels this way.
This week I have had such a hard time giving up my hopes and dreams and desires all for the Lordship of Christ. I feel weak and vulnerable giving it all up and allowing the Lord to do what he wants with my life. If you know me, you know that I hate looking weak in front of others; I want to have it all together. I'm independent and like doing things on my own. Yet in these conversations I have with God I keep interjecting and saying , "Wait! Don't take that away! I'll give you all my dreams, just don't take this one from me."
How messed up is this though? Isn't our relationship with Christ ALL about us bringing nothing to the table? No amount of good we do will ever be enough. We will never be enough. Yet, that is what makes Christ SO sweet. HE is EVERYTHING. I am NOTHING. So, why wouldn't I want to surrender all my hopes and dreams and plans to an all powerful God? He knows what's best for me! He loves me more than I could ever love Him. He wants me to fall before him with all my burdens; all my desires; all my hopes, and offer them up to him. I don't have to "have it all put together" before my Savior. He died for me when I was a mess; he takes me back time and time again when I screw up.
What will you do? Will you surrender your hopes, your dreams and your LIFE to an awesome God who loves you dearly and wants to guide you? Or will you push Him away and go through life on your own, only to soon find out that you can't do it?
"Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God. When Christ, who is your life, appears, then you will also appear with him in glory"
Monday, September 26, 2011
If there was ever a time to faithfully blog out my thoughts, ideas, dreams, frustrations, joys...EVERYTHING...- well, this semester is the time! Most of you know I am taking the semester off of classes. If you didn't, now you know :)
Thankfully, I am still able to live in Minnesota while I wait to figure out how I will ever finish college. A friend's family offered for me to live with them until December, and for that I am truly grateful. You might be wondering, 'Well, what is she going to do with ALL that time.' Guess what? I've been asking myself that same question! For now, I am running by own business as a Mary Kay Independent Beauty Consultant ( Marykay.com/Allison.Frazier). So far it as been great! I've met some wonderful women, grown a lot myself, and seen the incredible benefits that running your own business has. I don't know how long I will be with Mary Kay, but even if it just gets me through college and then I decide I'm done, then so be it! Or, I could be doing this for 25 years! For now, I just need to be able to afford 4 more semesters in any way that I can. I'm also looking for a second part-time job. No luck yet, but I'm still searching :)
Apart from working, I am really hoping to make the most of my time this semester. I am excited to have time alone with the Lord and to grow deeper in my relationship with Him. My daily quiet times always suffer when I'm in school (I think that's the way it goes for most students), so now I want to really bask in God's love for me. Just to sit and pray, journal and read my Bible for hours on end sounds SO appealing. I can't get enough of it. Especially today: I'm so full of joy and thanks for my Savior right now for no apparent reason. I can just feel His presence so strongly today. Love it. AH!
In the future, my blog posts will probably be rambling and full of thoughts. Who knows...I just write whatever I'm feeling at the moment. If that's your style, than be my guest - stay up to date with my journey over the next 3 months. I would love to hear your thoughts/comments/whatever....that is, if anyone even reads this thing. Sometimes I'm pretty positive nobody does! Oh well. :)
Check out Isaiah 55 today! It's full of promises and reminders of how much Jesus loves and cares for us!